When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
Siren's Song
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Hate. It can be raging, boiling and violent to the extent of being murderous and diabolical. Yet it can be subtle too, simmering and seething in the background, hidden by a half smile and forgiving eyes. Is it better to butcher and hack the object of abhorrence and sever his or her sinews with jarring words, or to cut someone so silently, swiftly, and deadly that the person is left choking on the dust of your departure, before realizing that he or she has been utterly, completely and totally humiliated and belittled? Hate does manifest itself in many forms doesn't it?
Dark thoughts have flashed across my mind before for certain matters and certain people. Evil thoughts of revenge and the burning desire to inflict pain, be it physical or mental or emotional. Yet after a while, hate morphs into hurt and hurt dissipates into a false sense of serenity and contentment.
Queen of the Damned O Queen!
What angel art thou who ruleth in the night
Fair is the countenance that ancient songs recite
What fools filthy mortals art, entrapp'd under thy spell
Thou art Nosferatu's mistress, gracin' the depths of hell!
Yet damn'd behind Eros' gate, claret tears will fall
Where wilt thou highness find thy worthy paramour
O, what men dare do! What men may do!
Fragile necks shouldst thou thus chew
Thy lips be stain'd with crimson blood
Lilith's wrath in Eden's bud
Thine secrets be safely lock'd and dark
Death to those who break thy heart
I know I wrote those brooding lines quite some time ago. But when you mentioned hate, it leaped back into my mind again, like your yellow submarine, or my pink elephant, big and flashy and completely taking over my line of vision. I have went through the rites of hating before dearie.
But I got tired of hating. And I have you. =) I don't wanna be distracted and hate other people, I wanna concentrate on loving you. To make an effort not to make you worry, to put my mind into reading up on Chinese literature and art for you know what purpose and go for walks with your granny with her hand in mine. I wanna train my stomach to eat more yet tone up more to achieve that lean, mean, ruff, tuff, buff, tanned and toned bod that you and I desire. I wanna take you to explore places you've never been to in Singapore and let you into the magical world that you haven't had a chance to step into. I wanna buck up with my sushi making skills to make u the yummiest ryori. You know how easily I get distracted, don't you? So hush now.
I may be stuck in the quagmire of the past sometimes. But doesn't anyone and everyone? I wanna move on. I wanna be stronger. I wanna hold on to you and if need be cry on your shoulder.
